she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
There's even glitter on my cock...
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