She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
birth control should be required to get into college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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