if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize