And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
