is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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