OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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