We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dignity is for republicans.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
