You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize