i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
