How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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