I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
