So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
