I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
