sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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