i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
