I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
