You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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