I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
