Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
