well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize