I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
