you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
