This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
