you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
