He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
