But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
