This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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