real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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