you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
