This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
