You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
