break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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