You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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