Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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