Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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