I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
