apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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