it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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