I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize