I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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