RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Come see our sink grown plant.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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