I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
