She is in my trunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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