fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
