I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
