I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize