I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Houston, we have a blender
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I FOUND THE LEGS
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