Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
