How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
