So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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