So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
