dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
