I seem to have left my pride at pride
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
