Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize