How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
