this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize