ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
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I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
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accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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