i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it glows. i had to have it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize