i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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