I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
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My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Your penis caused this!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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