Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
