shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
